New Poll and Marriage: Here comes the groom..vroom, vroom!!!!

In the new poll, I ask the question: who would you vote for between two men after your affections.

One the most mean, vile contemptible human being with the wealth of Warren Buffet and looks of a Brad Pitt. (Substitute your best looking man at your leisure.)

The other is almost Jesus-like in his mercy, kindness and virtue, while also being dirt poor and ugly in the way that is hard to describe. (So why describe it.)

As the sole woman in the kingdom, theoretically, you are given the opportunity to choose your destiny.

In a wider marketplace, these choices are made very often, in much the same manner. And result in a divorce rate of nearly 60%, if “The Donald” was accurate in his recent appearance on “The Billionaire Inside.”

Women folk talk of choosing because of “love” or “he cares about me (or us)” and “I could spend the rest of my life with him.” Yet, I am skeptical of all those stated reasons. Whatever the selection process is for a woman, it certainly is not resulting in picking the optimal selection amongst a nearly limitless supply of mentheoretically speaking once again.

If the man eventually cheats on you, becomes abusive to you (or others) or somehow disappoints in a way unforgiveable (works too little, makes next to nothing, spend no time with you or can’t communicate well), is that really ALL his fault? In all those flaws, which you had time to vet accordingly during the dating period, isn’t that partly your bad?

A person can be flawed — and we certainly all are — yet, it is up to the selector (and women are the deciders, make no mistake about it) to pick which ones are acceptable and which are “deal breakers.”

As “The Donald” discussed, signing a prenump is his way of basically saying, “I love you only to a point. Business is what I really love the most. And I won’t be a sucker in what is, at its most fundamental, a business transaction — that of marriage.”

Some women that I see in their personal interactions with men use the same flawed techniques to choose their men time and time again. It is about short-term infatuation; excitement at having “the hot guy”; or “some feeling” they get from being around said suitor.

When they get screwed over, or dump him or finally get past the “romantic love” stage, they complain about it.

If I would ever suggest they took the same road/door they always do, they get upset with me. (A sure sign that I am right – mind you all.) Because I am pointing to their flawed notions and probably failed upbringing, in the selection of Mr. Right.

They will posit that they want “the whole package.” (Yet only the good looking part is what they look at closely.)

That he was “the problem.” (He had problems, but you overlooked those initially.)

That it is just enjoyment in the road to that final one. (Really, you like to try and fail countless times on the road to marital success. With the possibility that one time, you might get hurt in a way that you can never recover from. Is that what you’re after?)

But alas, I will concede she is right. That I am a foolish man and know nothing “of love.” (Or love nothing – as she will witfully suggest.)

As she works on her 2nd or 3rd divorce in the life, I won’t wonder why it all happened.

I also will not be one of those failed marriages.

Because I knew better.

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Comments

  • Anonymous  On January 8, 2008 at 10:32 am

    Hi Jason,
    I have finally found out why I can’t comment on your blogs, and how I can…it’s the browser I.E. is perfect Firefox won’t do it!

    Bear with me because I’m trying different ways to sign in as myself, but I’m really interested in this post:)

    Will only let me be anonymous…

    Partners are chosen in the first instance because they have complementary scripts. In other words: she will get what she wants, but so will he. He might want to abuse her…she wants to be abused. It takes about 6 months for everything to come to a head, so life can be good for 6 months. After that the scripts kick in.

    Knowing and changing your script is the right way to choose a partner.

    Want more…Ask me
    Carol Webb…

  • Cooper  On January 11, 2008 at 12:07 am

    My firefox works fine and I can comment using my blogger name or a nickname, finally.

    I don’t know, I am sure your outlook is because of what you have experienced. I don’t think of relationships in those terms at all.

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