Bad Poetry: What not to leave on anothers’ comment board

I really didn’t have a post (or a point) when I wrote this one. It’s bad; and goes to show, that writing without editing is sometimes a sloppy affair.

Temporary Title
Down to the Pit

Make your play.
Later days;
and rainy sounds of doom.

look outside.
swallow your pride;
No where to run – caught in the loom.

By chance.
A failed romance;
came up the ladder – down to the well.

Fortune runs dark.
No ashes or spark,
As a man: soul merges into hell.

My Meaning:
1st verse: A man is challenging another to a duel to the death while rain is pelting them on a field of battle. (You can’t get all that from what I wrote.)

2nd Verse: “Look outside” means the man is trying to look for an escape from this showdown. Swallow your pride – that last gulp of courage before you go into battle. No where to run and loom essentially means you are trapped, no escape.

3rd verse: “by chance, a failed romance” describes the last thoughts you have about someone cared for, but never got it right with, a love lost. “Came up the ladder – down to the well” – it could mean many things, and it does to me in this one. (I’ll leave that to the poetry experts….)

4th verse: Simple: he’s dead and he went to hell. Only hell isn’t a fire or torment, just dark, eerie and nothingness. Merges into the vastness that is nowhere…

Not that complex and not that good either.

If you have something better, I like all bad, good and excellent poetry. It helps to read others stuff, so I know not to publish mine. (I made this one up in like 3 minutes…)

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Comments

  • cooper  On November 29, 2007 at 6:40 pm

    Good Game, Jason.

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