Women & Their Boobs: Bigger is not always better for the love cannons

This past Friday, when I stopped by a local watering hole for a drink after spending time at Barnes and Nobles reading up on some new baseball titles, a book on proper techniques in writing and my horoscope, I eventually got into a conversation with the younger bartender, which started as, “So, what are you going to do during the shutdown?” (The bar is moving down the street in 3 weeks. So they are closing the old one.)

She said, “Getting my boobs done?”

“Really?” I said, with a mystified look likely on my face.

She turned away to take an order and the like.

I then said, “Are you being facetious?” Figuring that using a twenty dollar word was better than are you kidding me/putting me on query.

After a moment, she responded, “No, I’m serious.”

This bartender and I are not really pals. In fact, I rarely get service from her. Her partner in crime (of serving drinks) is actually a really decent and kind sort. She’s older and more attractive than the younger, soon-to-be boob-enhanced one I am talking about now.

I said, “You’re fine the way you are.” Not kidding in that remark. She’s got plenty up top, she’s actually rather well preportioned, thin and decent appearance overall. Natural is the best word.
Problem she really has is her attitude. It sucks. Or at least it does when she talks to me, loser par excellence.

She didn’t respond, and I let it go at that.

Maybe the crux of this post is that I actually was trying to give her decent advice because I don’t care one way or another about her. It makes no difference to me if she gets some more up top, but why is she getting them?

1) To move from bartender to stripper land
2) Make more money as a bartender, and get more attention from the boys that come by
3) Insecurity with herself (about 2-3 months back she was making out at the bar with a woman after her shift…That was a new one for THIS particular bar.)
4) Talked into it. The older bartender has the big fake boobs from 10 years past.

Now, this is one of those posts that men do all the time. Talk about women and their secondary sexual characteristics like they are people. (The breasts.) But I am not an advocate of getting them because they enhance someones’ career prospects on the short shelf life of a bartender/stripper/Hooters girl.

She’d be better off going to college, major in business and run the place she currently works at or BETTER. And avoid some quack operation that could do more damage than it allegedly solves…

Another thing, people that have zero vested interest in your success or failure in the venture you take up, generally give better advice, if they feel the need to give it at all. It goes against the “Men are from Mars, Venus thing” whereby women do not like advice AT ALL from men. But in this particular case, she should have listen. Course, she doesn’t respect me or my opinion about anything.

It’s simple: if she found me appealing as a boyfriend, I wouldn’t offer or suggest ever to her that she needs a boob job. And if she did want them, I’d say the same things I said here.

If she garners more money in the next 5-10 years by leaning over the counter or getting hack boyfriends that can’t do anything but talk a good game, more power to her.

I think she sold herself short, but that seems to be the rule of today.

Why I went on about this subject: It bothered me that I can give advice but rarely take it well. A very few people have advised me over the years. People I barely know, some likely well-intentioned, but I didn’t listen to them.

Where they right? Did I react like the Miss Thing at the bar on Friday?Probably.

We all do it. We reject someone’s help because the package it is served up in does not meet our “eye” test.

If I was 6’2″, 225 lbs. Brad Pitt clone, this women would have stopped for more than a mere moment (assuming she’s bi or straight) to consider my thought presented. Instead, I’m 5’6″, 200 lbs., bald (I’ve shaved my head since last October) and don’t have that charismatic way about me that women are drawn to.

I once did a study on this phenomenon years ago, like 10 years. I queried a bunch of women via a test. I collected demographic info (age, marital stat, education, income, etc.) and then I gave them the options to rate things they would like in a man on a scale from 1 to 10, but only 3 times could they select a 10 rating out of thirty characteristics. (Things like: has female friends, sexual stamina, life of the party, career oriented, plays an instrument, on time, charismatic, honest, etc.)

The third part I put about 40 adjectives in a grouping and asked them to select 7 they would want in a man.

The fourth part, I asked the women where they were in terms of their goals/achievement in relation to where they wanted to be. (0-20) Then I asked them what they felt was their rating as an attractive mate for a man (0-20)

Lastly, I rated the woman. (Attractiveness and perceived success level.)

I don’t remember the exact results, but women generally wanted honesty, sexual variety, and charisma across all ranges of demographic queries (used an ANOVA on the groupings)

Also the younger and less educated (18-25, no degree), the more power and influence they expected “their man” to have.

I was curious to do this sort of thing for a while. Anybody can do their own analysis of people, you don’t need some psych schelp to give you statistically significant results.

That’s all folks!!!!

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  • Elaine  On July 30, 2007 at 5:47 pm

    Well you gave her good advice. From your description she certainly doesn’t need the implants. Why is another story. Good post 🙂

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