A House Divided: Living on the Edge of Insanity

Most people, at some point in their lives, have a period of hardship, whether it is financial, emotional or physical in nature. Well, that time has come and festered for way too long.

Over the last 4 years, I have watched my mother and aunt run their finances, and tangentially, mine into the ground. They are out of options aside from bankruptcy. (I have suggested it for the last 3 years.)

Yet, as I have pleaded, reasoned, implored, chided and, as of last week, threatened and exploded on them, nothing has moved them to an immediate action of legal counsel.

Last week, a car dilemma meant that I would be driving unsafe, possibly endangering the welfare of others. It moved them only to go further into debt, and “rob Peter to pay Paul.” We fixed it – after my mother and I got rejected 4 places for auto financing – and thus threw good money after bad. (She bought it for $500…a poor investment.)

They are two months behind on their mortgage/home equity payment of $530/month. The next one is due this Monday.

My aunt, by her own admission, is $30,000 in credit card debt on 2 cards. Her installment is $600/month. She makes approximately $2000/mo gross, minus $500 for gas to do their paper route, leaving very little to handle every day expenses such as food. (She has never made more than $27,000 in any year.)

My mother has 2 civil judgments all ready against her with one filed for September 2008. She just spent her bi-weekly check of $800, earned by me, on that $500 car. She did not receive her stimulus check due to a garnishment. She has no savings. No tangible assets aside from a shared interest in a home worth less than it would take to fix it properly.

The Home would assess at $90,000, however, the land is 50% of that value. The bathroom lacks a tub that works due to plumbing work that is too expensive to consider. There is no hot water due again to a water heater issue. (So, we boil what we need.) The kitchen tile is duct-taped to the floor.

We have 18 cats, with probably 3 more on the way, costing $10/per day for food, litter and flea protection, which, by they way, has not worked. No cable. No long distance telephone service. 2 beat up vehicles sit – one with a transmission problem, the other, a suspension flaw – while we drive 2 touch-n-go autos.

We have a broken washer and dryer. I haven’t bought an entire outfit at retail price since I’ve been home (April 2004.) I sleep on a futon in a reminiscent 8’ x 10’ room crowded with books, a bookshelf, 2 desks, a computer, TV set and various other furniture pieces. I junk a lot: picking up furniture, TV sets (better than ours) and even a computer that I write most things now on. Yet this is only a coping mechanism to find value in a valueless home.

The room across from me is filled halfway up the walls with old arts and crafts of my aunt. The whole room. The basement is a disaster. Ditto for the falling apart garage. The front porch is sinking and pulling away from the main house. And the house is again overrun with cats. Estimated work: $50,000.

If you want insanity, come by 505 Indiana Avenue sometime.  

Why I stress, and use either “flight or fight” tactics, that of wanting to run away to go fight the Taliban or the Terrorists, is this: I am exasperated.

They will not change.

My aunt is crazy. Pure and simple. She has a diagnosable mental disorder. Not for me to diagnose it, it is just there. And also, I likely know why it started: she was molested by her uncle some 40 years ago.

So that is a significant reason why she manipulates, connives, vacillates, lies and deceives anyone she can. She also blows everything out of proportion. She lives in victimhood and is dependent on her sister. She is a drama queen.

(And I did something I’ll likely be punished for: I slap her on Wednesday during a complete meltdown by me. The first time in 25 years I have ever hit her. She was sarcastic and childishly criticizing my attempts to somehow avoid losing our income on the route I drive. While crying about her having to do HER route, all by herself…)

My mother, she’s an enabler. She decided long ago to cast her lot in with sis, and I am not a strong enough influence to change her behavior. I have lost faith in her by the truckload.

For my part, I am success always looking for a failure. Go to school, but flunked out. Get a degree and job, but it goes south in a year. File bankruptcy and get credit and a better job, eventually wind up stalking an older woman. (5 years older.) I get out of prison, get 2 jobs in fast food, but the stress of running around 80 hours a week is too much. Ruin my credit, and have no available options left. Write a crappy book, and expect people to read it. It goes on like that forever…and ever.

I am petulant, too talkative, undermine my own points and feel I am bipolar. No one has ever cared a lick about what I say, what I do or what I desire for a life. I also suppose that my mother has never really ever loved me. (She twice abandoned me: once at age 2-3, the other time in escape of my father, age 10.Since then, she does just enough to reflect she cares.)

My father is a complete monster. I am a half-monster, genetically. These are the House of Usher type of horrors I live.

But all that said, I have wanted them to straighten out their lives. I went to Peter Francis Geraci’s legal site, printed out forms, explanations to no avail in getting them to immediately consider it. Instead, they are spending money on cats and food for us right now.

I am considering consulting an attorney to go forward with mental competency hearing due to the items above. (And will start taking pictures, notes, etc.) This is my fight mechanism kicking in. I will admit to my hitting of my aunt. (And likely go to jail…again.) But she’ll just use a ‘blame game’ instead of addressing the problem: finances are destroyed and they have to file or lose home and income. And most legal people will fall for it, I suppose.

I don’t want them to lose their home.

I don’t want them to lose their entire life.

I don’t want them to continue this insanity.

I live in a house divided. I just wonder whether I am the sane or insane one.

You be the judge.

(And yes, I know I am not the appropriate messenger. They have made that clear. But if you are in the midst of the perfect storm of woe, would you stand by and let someone flush you down the toilet?)

Signs you need to file bankruptcy: from Peter Francis Geraci book on it.

WHEN YOU SHOULD CONSIDER CHAPTER 7 OR CHAPTER 13 PLANS

***If three or more of the following apply to you, you should see a bankruptcy lawyer now.  ***If more than 5 of the following apply to you, you should have already seen us 3 months ago!!! __x___ My debt is over $5000 not including a car or house.  __x___ My payments are over 25% of my take home pay.  __x___I am frequently late on my payments.  __x___I pay 20% interest on my debt.  __x___I buy necessary items like food or clothing on credit.  __x___I frequently get cash advances.  __x___I am thinking about getting a loan to pay other loans.  __x___Someone has filed a lawsuit against me.  __x___Collection agencies are calling me.  __x___I am “robbing Peter to pay Paul.”  __x___My balances are not going down even though I make payments.  __x___I have been turned down for more credit.  __x___Payments are more than 1 month behind on more than one bill.  _____My driver’s license is suspended because of an accident.  _____I can’t afford car insurance.  __x___My mortgage or rent is always late, or is behind.  _____We are getting divorced and have too many bills to pay.  _____I have medical bills over $5000 that are not insured.  __x___There is a garnishment or wage assignment on my check.  __x___I owe income taxes I can’t pay now.  __x___My car is worth much less than I owe.                     __x___I have no savings.

Of these, 18 apply to my family’s current dilemma.